He was a cook in his 20s. Then, a nurse shortly after. When the pandemic froze all life, flipping pages was the unexpected turn that moved him to discover his niche.

 

Now 41, Lester Laoagan has published two novels since 2020.

 

‘I didn’t know I had the talent’

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The dead hours of the night would find Lester scribbling what he calls his ‘manuscript’. He has been writing his dream novel in the quiet—starring the Igorot God, Kabunyan—way before his first published book in 2020. But this habit was an on-and-off commitment because writing was never his first choice.

 

“It’s just recently,” Lester began. “I’m just a guy who wrote a book during the pandemic.”

An interest overshadowed by the lack of resources and self-doubt, every attempt at writing was blocked by his responsibilities as a former community nurse in La Trinidad and coordinator of the Philippine Red Cross Baguio Chapter. And on the times he could, his apprehensions stood in the way.

 

“I did not know, until now. I still have the... what is this... imposter syndrome.”

Sometime in 2016, he hustled his way through Europe to send money home. In between stories about his stay in France, Poland, or the European way of life, Lester somehow finds himself circling back to writing. “A church there had no idea what to present,” he continued talking about the play he wrote and directed for the church. “I volunteered and they liked it. They were the ones who kept bragging that I have a talent in writing.”

 

This is where he believed in himself a little.

 

Then came the pandemic. Uncertainty filled his last months in France as the then 2019- nCov slowly paralyzed the workforce. He was trying to make ends meet with his mortgage. News about forced resignations was just around the corner. So, before he was even forced to leave, Lester decided it best to head back to the Philippines and start looking after his mentally challenged brother.

 

The lockdown that put life on hold for two long years was unexpectedly what Lester needed to reflect on the commendations he used to get as the scriptwriter and playwright in their school plays and barangay projects. “I did not acknowledge it but thinking through, I now realize that maybe I have a knack on this avenue,” he added.
 

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Brothers

 

On Lester’s Facebook profile, one would see an occasional Clarence post. Clarence chilling on a rocking chair. Clarence enjoying pancit. Clarence happily holding a can of spray paint. The joys of mundanity.

 

Clarence Laoagan, now 38, is the man behind The Man Without Personality—his first novel and a fictional story set during Martial Law about an autistic child whose diagnosis came later in his life due to sociopolitical struggles. It was published by the National Library of Romania in August 2022.

 

The third of the four Laoagan siblings, Clarence has had Kanner’s Syndrome since birth. It renders him unable to function by himself and carry out daily tasks like eating and bathing. Other than being nonverbal, Clarence’s condition requires full-time care.

Yes, close kami,” said Lester when asked about his brother.

 

“Mostly, it’s just me,” he added as he told of his daily duties as his brother’s caregiver. He also mentioned his other siblings and spoke highly about their careers: the oldest, a filmmaker based in New York; the youngest, a surgeon at Atok District Hospital.

 

Their tight-knit relationship prompted Lester to supplement his first novel with Autism in the Family, a non-fiction about the ways they “navigate life as a family with an autistic brother.” It was published March this year.

 

The Laoagans’ struggle in dealing with their brother’s personhood made way for the second book. “I just wanted to convey that even though we’re living with someone with autism, we didn’t even understand him completely,” Lester said. “It explains the struggles and how to cope with... having someone autistic in the family.”

 

He noted how both novels aim to picture the situations of people with special needs in a country like the Philippines where support is dismal.

 

On Chances and Struggles

 

“Just an observation, even the homeless in France carry books. Even those involved in blue- collar jobs.” The budding writer hints at a bleak outlook on the Philippine art community as a challenge impending local writers like him.

 

“The art as a form is not always taken as a serious career choice, it’s only taken as a hobby or time-chiller,” the writer said as he talked about professional writing in dismay.

 

Before he found his 312-page novel ready for publishing, The Man Without Personality took him three years—with only one editor entertaining him. It took nine months before his draft was finally returned but the edits were too substantial that he eventually had to edit his own.

 

“I approached some English teachers whom I know or some friends who read but they are not willing. So, I just re-edited it,” Lester recalled.

 

The biggest toil was finding a publisher. Due to the lack of Cordillera-based publishers and unfortunate Manila centrism, he believed shooting his first shot with online publishing companies would acquire him a better chance of getting published.

 

“When you’re an artist, if you only stay within the Cordillera, even though you have years of experience, you’re still a struggling artist. One must go to Manila to be a successful artist, that’s why I relied on the internet.”

 

A daring and smart move it was to simply try, chances certainly did not come to Lester. He made them. Now, his name sits among writers found on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Goodreads, and Ukiyoto Publishing.

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‘A big ambition’

 

Now that his goal of advocating autism awareness has materialized, Lester is focused on realizing what he believes is a pipedream: to publish a Game of Thrones-like novel that is based in the Cordilleras.

 

“I observed that best-selling novels are always based on the Western world,” told Lester whose research about the Cordillera lore is currently in the works.

 

La Trinidad grown, Lester was clad in a cowboy hat on the day of the interview. He said it emulates the men of his tribe, the Ibaloi-Inuntogs of Benguet. He talked enthusiastically about their culture and the many misconceptions conceptions about it.

 

There is, according to him, a lot to know about the ancient Cordillera. From tribal wars to more controversial issues like canine butchering and the complexity of the term “Igorot”, the North is a world-class tale in its own right. And as an Ibaloi, he is set on telling their story.

 

“Actually, Igorot is not a tribe. It’s just a term used by the Spaniards... or it came from the... Igolotes meaning people from the mountain. It’s the general term,” he clarified.

Every once in a while, Lester posts updates on this dream project. He currently frequents libraries to learn more about indigenous knowledge.

 

It was a poem writing contest that sparked his passion for words. He was nine. Perhaps, if nine-year-old Lester would read this, he would have never guessed where words could take him. Whatever self-doubt that held him back for years is slowly waning behind one simple yet also grand plan: to just keep writing. Not known to many, Lester never outlines. While it is a peculiar writing habit that would have writers turn their heads, it is also a damning attestation that in the world of art, you do you.

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— Rachel Ivy Reyes